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Casey’s Journal Part 2

I couldn’t be stuck in this any longer. Things never changed, yet I kept thinking they would. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Our history proved that it was insane to keep holding on. We were destined to live the same rise and fall, over and over again.

I’ve heard that love isn’t always enough to keep two people together. I was starting to realize how true this was. Love had a way of poisoning our thoughts, and we could no longer make sense of this. Once the toxic nature of this had set in, there was no going back to the good times. We would always end up spewing venom with our words. Hating each other becomes synonymous for loving, and somehow we accepted this as our life.

The good moments started to come few and far in between, while the bad days started to seem more prevalent. I tried; I really did try to change hoping that would fix things. But falling back into old patterns came easy. I’m sorry I couldn’t find a way to resolve our problems, but it was starting to look impossible.

Love meant putting your pride aside, something we both seem to have trouble doing. There were many times we fought just because we both wanted to be right. Neither of us would give an inch, and those inches grew into miles. History created a canyon so big between us, all we could do was hope something, anything, could make it across. But every echo turned into a fight, and nothing sounded right.

I don’t even remember what the last fight was about, but I don’t think that really matters. What mattered was how I felt after it was over; like my whole life shatter in a single moment. All the hopes, dreams, and the plans we made were gone in one second.

You said it first, that maybe it was best we took a break. We both knew what a break meant; it was a nice way of saying it’s over. I remember feeling the tears well up in my eyes, and being so thankful you had the courage to say it first.  There was no way I could have.

It didn’t end because we stopped loving each other, but rather in spite of it. I thought, in time, we would have grown together, but we had just been growing apart. Staying together any longer would have been for comfort, and truly not healthy. Despite knowing this and despite agreeing to the split I still missed you in everything that I did.

The first wave of missing you hit when I was getting ready for bed that night. As I climbed beneath the covers I realized I wouldn’t wake up feeling cold, because you had tugged them all to your side. I smiled to myself, thinking “This won’t be that hard.” That night I was the coldest I had ever been.

You weren’t there to kiss goodnight. Your arms didn’t hold me as I drifted off to sleep. It was the first time in years that I was alone in my bed. Alone was something I hadn’t been since I met you.

To be continued…

Review of Spiderman for PS4

I’d like to start this off by saying I have always been a huge Spiderman fan. So of course I was excited to hear about the new game. This just after the release of God of War, which was just jaw dropping itself. Proving that they are the system to beat, Sony manages to have two amazing games released within months of each other. From web-swinging around the city, to clearing the city of crime, Spiderman has manage to be one of the best superhero games to make it to this console, yet again.

Web-Swinging

Many might remember the Spiderman 2 for the ps2. That game was amazing for its time, but this new Spiderman adds high-definition graphics and much more to raise the bar. The open map allows the player to web-swing through the city along with Peter Parker. With a number of different web moves, the movement through the city is seamless. It will leave the player swinging from roof top to roof top as they collect various types of tokens just for fun.

The city is flawless, with hidden buildings all over. You have everything from Alias Investigation in Hell’s Kitchen, to Avengers towers. Spiderman is not Spiderman without swinging around the city of New York. With Manhattan the main area for the game, you are sure to find plenty to do inside this borough.

Variety

This is not the kind of game you just run through a linear story. With an open map there are various different tasks for you to accomplish. There are crimes to stop, pigeons to catch, black cats to locate. You get to choose if you want to jump into a fight gung-ho, or to take the stealthy route and web up the enemies with your web to make things a little more even.  And with three different DLC’s you have even more action packed story once you complete the main story.

As you go around collecting tokens, you get more gadgets and suits that are unlockable. You can upgrade skill points to make fighting more interesting, as well as suit powers that help to even the battle.

Amazing Storyline

The storyline had me hook from the very beginning. I was invested in Peter’s life from the moment I began; shipping him with Mary Jane, while wondering if Spiderman ever sleeps. There were many laughs at Peter’s quick wit, and even a few tears in the darker parts of the game, as I was routing for Spiderman to end up victorious, as superheroes always do. And don’t get me started on the amount of nemesis that makes appearances in this game. Does Spiderman always have this bad of a week?

Tedious Side Missions

Not every part of the game had me hooked, as eventually some of the side missions and tokens started to get a little tedious. There are only so many pigeons I want to chase after, before I got sick of it. As someone who like to complete the game 100% I manage to complete everything, despite how tedious it started to feel after the story was completed.

There isn’t much bad to stay about this new Spiderman game. The game looks amazing in 4K. With smooth fighting and web-swinging I have to say this is a hard game to pass up on. You’ll spend hours just going around the city to collect everything and trying out all Spiderman’s moves without getting bored. Tie this with a great story and you make for one amazing game.

Casey’s Journal

November 15, 2014

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m writing just to fill the blank spaces inside myself. Are these words here to take away an emptiness I feel? What are we without them?

Our lives are shaped by the things we say, or don’t say. The silence can speak the things that got caught on your tongue.

I’ve spent most of my life manipulating words to my benefit, but I often find myself tripping over the right thing to say, and replacing it with the wrong thing.

It’s never been my intention to hurt anyone. As they say, “all is fair in love and war.” Is that why love can transform into war, in a matter of seconds? It’s crazy to think that one day I’m telling you how much I love these minuscule things about you, but the next I hate them. I hate them with so much passion it drives a wedge between us, a wedge that seemed to be growing at an increasingly fast pace.

I don’t hate you though. I could never truly hate you. The thing I hate is what we had become. I don’t want to just fill the empty spaces anymore. By the end of it, that’s all we were doing. It was an endless attempt to avoid an ending we knew was coming. It all started with the silence. When there were no more words to be said between us. Nothing that could fix this, anyways.   

When did silence become awkward between us? How is it that, a year ago, our silence was so profound we couldn’t help, but love each other more inside of it? That we could be so comfortable existing in the same space, that it didn’t need to constantly be filled with words. At some point though, the silence became the beginning of the end, or was it the yelling.

I remember looking into your eyes and thinking, this is it, this is where we end. We both knew what was about to happen. We had just fought over something that, in the long run, was meaningless. That’s all that was left of us, endless fighting.

The room grew silent; there was nothing more I could say. All I could do was wait and hope you would fill it with meaning, but you hesitated and the moment was lost forever. That was it. The answer I had been searching for. It didn’t matter to you, it never had.

Silence wasn’t always a bad thing. I accepted this from you time after time, but this was different. All I wanted from you was to fill it with something, anything. To show me that holding on wasn’t a mistake, that we could find a way to make this work. You gave me nothing, but this was typical. I don’t know what I was expecting.

To be continued…..

Setting Yourself Up For Failure: The New Year’s Resolution Trap

As we quickly approach a new year, many people are taking the time to reevaluate their life. It’s a common time for us to come up with new goals that we wish to achieve to in the New Year. Many of us use this time of the year as a reason to completely makeover our life and become the person we have been wanting to. The New Year, new me mentality. However, we find that we tend to fail year after year. We set off on this new life for a few months or so, only to go back to our own ways shortly after. Here are some reasons you are setting yourself up for failure and how to correct that to achieve your goals this year.

Unrealistic Expectations

Most of us go about our goals with an entire U-turn of our life; jumping head first into these changes, without much of a thought. The problem with this is humans are resistant to change. Our brains are wired to keep doing the things we were doing over and over again. If we don’t take time to ease ourself into these huge changes it becomes difficult.

In order to create a change, we must first create new habits. To do this takes time, repeating the new action over and over again until it starts to be something your brain knows and wants to do. For example if you want to change your eating habits, a crash diet isn’t going to cut it. The best course of action is changing your diet long term. You can eat bad stuff; you just have to eat it less. If most of the days in the week you are eating healthy, a junk day isn’t going to be an issue. If you are eating junk 6 days out of the week, this is where the issue comes in. Moderation is key.

Some ways to ease yourself into this is adding more fruits and veggies to your diet. Increase your water intake over the next few weeks, while cutting out soda and juice. Eating clean protein with every meal is going to help as well. As time goes on you will find that these things get easier to add, while taking out the bad stuff.

You Burned Yourself Out

The best way to fail a New Year’s resolution is by going too hard, too fast. By the end of the first month you just want to take a little rest, but end up falling back into your old habits. Once that happens it’s hard to start back up and you end up putting it off for a whole year again.

Say you want to go to start going to the gym. You don’t want to start going to the gym every day for a week and burn yourself out. By the time the next week comes around you are going to be burned out. Ease yourself into a going every other day or even just on the weekends. Start off slow. Get your body used to moving, and then you can start to increase the amount of exercise you do a week. Once it becomes a habit, going to the gym 5 days a week should be easy

You Doubt Yourself

After setting out on your goals you start to think that it’s too hard. You don’t give yourself enough time for a change to actually show. At this time you start thinking it impossible and too hard to accomplish. Failing back into old habits is easier.

Everyone has doubts from time to time. When you rush into change and don’t see results right away, it can have an effect on your drive. And once doubt enters your mind it can take away all that motivation you had at the beginning. While you can’t always control the doubt, you can push through it.

Be realistic when setting your goals. Know what to expect and find a way to push through the doubts. Don’t let them rule your mind. Motivation is going to help you start, but you need persistence to keep going.

New Year’s is a great time to take a look at the things you want to change. It’s like opening a new chapter with new possibilities. But change takes time and the best way to go about it, is to ease yourself into these changes. You don’t want to jump head first into your new goals. That is only setting you up for failure. Give yourself time to create new habits and you will finally see your New Year’s resolutions come to fruition.

10 Amazon Christmas Gifts For Her

10 Amazon Christmas Gifts For Her

Christmas, is just around the corner. It’s the time where families come together and enjoy the holidays together. It’s about peace and love. Finding the perfect holiday gift can add unwanted stress to these next few weeks. Whether it’s your girlfriend or your sister, here are 10 Christmas gift ideas for 2018. It helps that you can order all these items from Amazon, to help ease the stress of trying to figure out what the women in your life want.

Wine Accessories

You know at least one woman who likes to drink wine. Whether it’s a glass after a long day of work, to help unwind, or a bottle on the weekend to celebrate a small victory; you can always find her with a wine glass in her hand. The Ivation Wine Gift Set could be the perfect gift you have been looking for. This gift set includes a stainless steel electric wine bottle open, wine aerator, electric vacuum wine preserver, 2 bottle stoppers, foil cutter, and a charging base. Your loved ones will be opening bottles with ease, while also extending the life of their favorite red or white wine.

Leggings

Leggings are not just for yoga. Women love wearing leggings all day, every day. Not only are they comfortable, but they can go with almost anything. Ndoobiy and Witkey have printed women’s leggings that come in a variety of designs and make the perfect Christmas gift for her.

Fitbit

Christmas is one step away from the New Year, which is the time people like to set new goals. One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is to lose weight. This makes the Fitbit Charge 2 a perfect Christmas gift. With this, your mother, wife, or best friend can track her heartbeat and steps to help measure calories burned through the day. It can be used to maximize workouts, as it shows when your heart rate is in the fat burning zone. Wearing it to bed can help them track how long and well you slept and even has an alarm feature. Another handy feature is it shows your calls and text right on the OLED display.

Makeup

I know this is cliché and that not all women like to wear makeup, but we all know a number of women who do. If you know your girlfriend has been talking about a specific pallet she has been wanting to get, take notes. It will make the perfect gift. You might even get bonus points for getting something she has been meaning to get herself.

Essential Oils

Essential oils are all natural stress relievers. Give relaxation this Christmas, in a healthy way. An essential oil diffuser might be just what she has been waiting for. The Secret Garden Essential Oil Diffuser gives the gift of all natural stress relief. Or if she already owns own you can also purchase essential oils for her diffuser.  Make her Christmas a relaxing one.

Perfume

Women usually have a scent that they enjoy when they get older. They stick to that brand and rarely move away from it, unless they find something that they really enjoy otherwise. This Christmas you might consider finding a bottle of her favorite perfume as a gift. While you can get her something new, keep in mind she might still want to wear her favorite bottle above all else.

Bath Bombs

Taking a bath after a long day is a great way to relax. Especially, during the stressful holiday months. Bath Bombs are a great holiday gift for the special women in your life. ArtNaturals offers a bath bomb gift set that is all natural and can be purchased right from your computer on Amazon. This bath bombs gift set includes six bath bombs. They are all natural make from natural clays combined with mineral salts, shea butter, and other natural ingredients.

Sleepwear

This time of year can get very cold. With the sun setting so early, most of us just want to spend the Christmas season lying in bed in our pajamas. Give your friends and family the gift of sleepwear. This can be a pair of slippers, an outfit, or even an oversized shirt. There is nothing better than going to bed in something comfortable.

Books

Looking for a great gift for a friend or a lover? Books make great gifts and Amazon is packed full of them. Is she into Sci-Fi? Give Karen Chance’s Cassie Palmer series a try. There are a number of great poetry books out as well Whiskey Words & a Shovel, Pillow Thoughts, you can even pick up a copy of my personal poetry book, All or Nothing.

If you are unsure of what book to get her for a Christmas gift, gift cards are always an option.

Video Games

Yes, women like video games too and if the women you are looking to buy a gift for is very into video games, it’s an easy gift. Find out what platform she has and find a game she might enjoy. A few titles recently out include:

At the end of the day, the best Christmas gift you can give the loved ones in your life is something personalized. You know them the best. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, it could just be a few things they need around the house. After all, it’s the thought that counts.

A Writer Should Always Be Writing

Sometimes, between jobs and clients I find myself not writing. On top of this, I find myself not wanting to write. Some days it’s the last thing I want to do, especially after just completing a batch of articles for a client. We all get burnt out sometimes and when your passion is your career, you don’t always want to write in your free time.

I’ve heard that a writer should always be writing, and while this isn’t always possible, I think it’s important to remember from time to time. It doesn’t have to be the next great novel, but anything that helps get you in the habits that will lead you to the next great novel is a plus. The moment you start slacking, you lose your motivation and all those pieces you had planned on writing are now lost in the dreaded, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” But how many times can you say that, before it just never happens?

We all get writers block. The best way to get through this writers block is as simple as just writing. It can literally be anything, just write. Procrastination is never a helpful tool, but it can be quite simple to break. All it takes is one step towards your goal to help destroy the cycle. Picking up a pencil and writing one word, or if you prefer a computer, can lead to the next hundred and so on from there.

While I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, I do believe in setting goals and facing them all year around. That being said I want to focus more on my own personal writing. I’m looking to set up some sort of schedule to start posting here more regularly. These are going to be a variety of things. From personal blogs, to poetry, and a dash of articles about stuff that interest me. Basically, you can expect to seem more writing from me in the coming year.

 

The Things You Deserve More Than Me

You deserve more than whiskey fueled dreams and clumsy kisses. More than someone who can’t make up her mind. You deserve cotton candy filled skies and moonlit nights. You deserve promises made with a tongue grazing your lips. You deserve wedding bells and diamond rings. You deserve a life filled with laughter and happiness. You deserve more than I can give you.

It’s Time We All Learned To Be Better

I want to start this off by saying, yes, we are all human and we make mistakes. We shouldn’t always be held back by these mistakes. However, when someone repeatedly shows that they are okay with doing things that aren’t deemed necessary, than they should be held accountable.

Lying

Lying is a big pet peeve of mine, which is why I try, at all cost, to avoid it. I also don’t like to associate people who show that they are going to keep lying; even after they have been caught it lies time and time again.

When we reach a certain age we understand that lying is bad. It does more harm than good to people. Like I said in one of my previous post, the truth isn’t intended to hurt you, but a lie is. Lying causes the most pain, because not only did this person do something that is going to cause you pain, they decided to withhold this information from you, not giving you the chance to decide if they are worth keeping in your life or not. It’s as if they didn’t even trust you to understand they made a mistake. These kinds of people usually stack lies on top of each other, until they eventually crumble on top of them.

Cheating

Why do people cheat in relationships? If you want to go around with other people, don’t be in a relationship. It’s as simple as that. It’s completely selfish to want to have a relationship, while also expecting the freedom of being single. Unless you have an open relationship establish, going around with another person is only going to break what you currently hold valuable.

Stealing

I shouldn’t have to say this, but taking things that don’t belong to you isn’t cool. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, how would you feel if you found that someone had taken something you worked for? There so many more important things in the world, which aren’t material thing. These types of possessions do not come with happiness built into them.  I’ve witnessed too many people feel as though they have the right to take these types of objects from people.

I’m frustrated with the state of things right now. We all need to start trying to be better. Jealousy, is robbing us of our sense of peace. We value things more than people and feelings. Joy doesn’t come in a box, it’s found within ourselves and others. Even if it’s adding one good thing a day, we can all be better people.