There are plenty of people I miss. Most of which I would never tell. Maybe it’s my pride, or maybe it’s the idea that they have been fine without me so far. And you? You, I miss the most.
I want to start this off by saying, yes, we are all human and we make mistakes. We shouldn’t always be held back by these mistakes. However, when someone repeatedly shows that they are okay with doing things that aren’t deemed necessary, than they should be held accountable.
Lying is a big pet peeve of mine, which is why I try, at all cost, to avoid it. I also don’t like to associate people who show that they are going to keep lying; even after they have been caught it lies time and time again.
When we reach a certain age we understand that lying is bad. It does more harm than good to people. Like I said in one of my previous post, the truth isn’t intended to hurt you, but a lie is. Lying causes the most pain, because not only did this person do something that is going to cause you pain, they decided to withhold this information from you, not giving you the chance to decide if they are worth keeping in your life or not. It’s as if they didn’t even trust you to understand they made a mistake. These kinds of people usually stack lies on top of each other, until they eventually crumble on top of them.
Why do people cheat in relationships? If you want to go around with other people, don’t be in a relationship. It’s as simple as that. It’s completely selfish to want to have a relationship, while also expecting the freedom of being single. Unless you have an open relationship establish, going around with another person is only going to break what you currently hold valuable.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but taking things that don’t belong to you isn’t cool. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, how would you feel if you found that someone had taken something you worked for? There so many more important things in the world, which aren’t material thing. These types of possessions do not come with happiness built into them. I’ve witnessed too many people feel as though they have the right to take these types of objects from people.
I’m frustrated with the state of things right now. We all need to start trying to be better. Jealousy, is robbing us of our sense of peace. We value things more than people and feelings. Joy doesn’t come in a box, it’s found within ourselves and others. Even if it’s adding one good thing a day, we can all be better people.
She comes to me in the dead night, while I slumber. “I love you.” slips for her mouth, exactly how I remembered it. This time I can spot the frayed ends all over the words. The punctuation so firm at the end of the sentence, I see the ending she began. Her love wasn’t meant to last a lifetime, perhaps mine wouldn’t have either. She will learn to move on, while I’m left to analyze the dreams from the time it all started to fall apart. Finding each small moment she started to slip away from me, one sentence at a time.
I lost my passion, beneath these dark clouds. It avoids me in my searches. Life seems so empty without it. I think I left it inside of you. You must have taken it when you left me. I didn’t find it in the box of stuff you returned. Now I don’t have either of you.
This version of me would never exist without you. Personalities entwined between bed sheets and hurried kisses. Happiness was a word barely comprehendible until you, as parts that were once frayed have found a new way to be whole. Between laughter building bridges to new possibilities, was hope being restored amidst prolonged eye contact. And love was the foundation where all of this could settle.
This is an excerpt from my poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, which can now be found in the amazon store.
I don’t want to let you go, my nails are digging deep into skin that seems to be slipping from my grasp. “I love you,” I say, but the words fall out of my mouth, into a puddle on the floor. You don’t even glance in my direction. Maybe I’ve said it one too many times. Maybe you had hoped I wouldn’t say it this last time.
The quiet was filled with the static of all the things we were refusing to say. Our hearts were fighting to break free of their cage, reaching for each other. We shoved them back in for another day of peace. Leaving the words to be etched into the surface of our hearts, a novel we didn’t want each other to read. We weren’t ready for the vulnerability.
I’ve heard there are two things you need to make a relationship work, timing and chemistry. We can’t blame this one on timing, because I gave you years that went to waste. How many times have promises of forever escaped my lips, while you couldn’t even commit to tomorrow? And chemistry? Did you forget that there was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other? Your coded texts mixed with, “I miss you” and, “I love you” between drawn out messages and secret meeting places. So tell me, what was the thing missing to make this relationship work?
Nothing’s change, except time. I still feel the same, but every time I try to bridge the distance between us, I get shoved back with both hands. And how many times can one person justify standing an arm’s length away, hoping for things to be different, to be better? When history creates habits hard to break, it’s difficult to look passed all the bad. Things may never have been the way I wanted them to be, but not for one moment do I second guess this. I’d take the bad all over again if it meant sense could be made out of this mess we created.
Check out my new poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, now available in the amazon store.