Forgiving You Will Be An Act Of Rebellion Against My Heart

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

How do you forgive someone who isn’t sorry? Forgiveness, after all, is a selfish endeavor. It is saying “I will no longer hold on to the bitterness and in this I release any power you have over my emotions.” This isn’t always about letting them back into your space, but rather having the ability to let them go, while being okay with that. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever.

Now tell me, how do you forgive someone who has spent your whole life treating you like an inconvenience? How do you learn to let go of that anger that has become so embedded into your very DNA, without also tearing yourself apart? Is it possible to strip down these strands to single nucleotides and remove the ones that don’t suit the person you wish to be?

I want to live a life of my own accord, but your contribution to my existence is something that holds me back. It is a bitterness that grips my heart in an icy grasp. It is an anger that shatters against the wall. It is a voice that seeks comfort in loud contrast. It is holding on to someone who treats me poorly, because how could I ever know anything different from the example you set?

Forgiving you will be an act of rebellion against my own heart, because I no longer wish for my driving force to be the anger that has built up inside. I want a heart filled with happiness and content. I want to let someone in that has the desire to be by my side. No longer do I wish to hold on to someone out of love. It must have mutual respect and equal effort for me to stay.

I may forgive you and drop the topic, but that doesn’t mean I want you back in my life. I’ve come to see, that once something has been broken, it can be impossible to piece back together. The cracks will always be there and it will never be the way it used to be. Perhaps that is for the best, and we learn to live with it.

In this I have learned that you reach an age when you realize each and every person has a different perspective on life. They are looking at the world with a different set of eyes and see things in ways you couldn’t possibly fathom. People are changing every second of every day. So how can we judge them based on how they respond to the world around them? This is why, in order to heal, we must learn how to forgive. Accepting that, as human beings we are all flawed and make mistakes, hurting people we once cared about.  Letting go of the ones that no longer serve to help us develop as people is how we keep growing.

It’s Time We All Learned To Be Better

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

I want to start this off by saying, yes, we are all human and we make mistakes. We shouldn’t always be held back by these mistakes. However, when someone repeatedly shows that they are okay with doing things that aren’t deemed necessary, than they should be held accountable.

Lying

Lying is a big pet peeve of mine, which is why I try, at all cost, to avoid it. I also don’t like to associate people who show that they are going to keep lying; even after they have been caught it lies time and time again.

When we reach a certain age we understand that lying is bad. It does more harm than good to people. Like I said in one of my previous post, the truth isn’t intended to hurt you, but a lie is. Lying causes the most pain, because not only did this person do something that is going to cause you pain, they decided to withhold this information from you, not giving you the chance to decide if they are worth keeping in your life or not. It’s as if they didn’t even trust you to understand they made a mistake. These kinds of people usually stack lies on top of each other, until they eventually crumble on top of them.

Cheating

Why do people cheat in relationships? If you want to go around with other people, don’t be in a relationship. It’s as simple as that. It’s completely selfish to want to have a relationship, while also expecting the freedom of being single. Unless you have an open relationship establish, going around with another person is only going to break what you currently hold valuable.

Stealing

I shouldn’t have to say this, but taking things that don’t belong to you isn’t cool. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, how would you feel if you found that someone had taken something you worked for? There so many more important things in the world, which aren’t material thing. These types of possessions do not come with happiness built into them.  I’ve witnessed too many people feel as though they have the right to take these types of objects from people.

I’m frustrated with the state of things right now. We all need to start trying to be better. Jealousy, is robbing us of our sense of peace. We value things more than people and feelings. Joy doesn’t come in a box, it’s found within ourselves and others. Even if it’s adding one good thing a day, we can all be better people.

Does All Love Come With An Endpoint?

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

She comes to me in the dead night, while I slumber. “I love you.” slips for her mouth, exactly how I remembered it. This time I can spot the frayed ends all over the words. The punctuation so firm at the end of the sentence, I see the ending she began. Her love wasn’t meant to last a lifetime, perhaps mine wouldn’t have either.  She will learn to move on, while I’m left to analyze the dreams from the time it all started to fall apart. Finding each small moment she started to slip away from me, one sentence at a time.

A Sturdy Foundation

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

This version of me would never exist without you. Personalities entwined between bed sheets and hurried kisses. Happiness was a word barely comprehendible until you, as parts that were once frayed have found a new way to be whole. Between laughter building bridges to new possibilities, was hope being restored amidst prolonged eye contact. And love was the foundation where all of this could settle.

 

This is an excerpt from my poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, which can now be found in the amazon store.

Don’t Go

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

I don’t want to let you go,  my nails are digging deep into skin that seems to be slipping from my grasp. “I love you,” I say, but the words fall out of my mouth, into a puddle on the floor. You don’t even glance in my direction. Maybe I’ve said it one too many times. Maybe you had hoped I wouldn’t say it this last time.

 

If you enjoy my writing, please check out my new poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, now available in the Amazon store.  For a limited time, only $0.99.

These Ribs Are A Cage

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

The quiet was filled with the static of all the things we were refusing to say. Our hearts were fighting to break free of their cage, reaching for each other. We shoved them back in for another day of peace. Leaving the words to be etched into the surface of our hearts, a novel we didn’t want each other to read. We weren’t ready for the vulnerability.

 

Like what you read? Check out my new poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, now available in the Amazon store.

Who Is Loving You Now?

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

I will always want to be the one touching you.

Jealous of whoever comes next.

These feelings are so embedded into me

They might as well be written into my genetic code.

Like what you read? Check out my new poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, now available in the Amazon store.

You Turned Me Into Your Mistress

Posted on by Christina Rasmuson

I’ve heard there are two things you need to make a relationship work, timing and chemistry. We can’t blame this one on timing, because I gave you years that went to waste. How many times have promises of forever escaped my lips, while you couldn’t even commit to tomorrow? And chemistry? Did you forget that there was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other? Your coded texts mixed with, “I miss you” and, “I love you” between drawn out messages and secret meeting places. So tell me, what was the thing missing to make this relationship work?

 

Like what you read? Check out my new poetry chapbook, All Or Nothing, now available in the Amazon store.