I will always want to be the one touching you.
Jealous of whoever comes next.
These feelings are so embedded into me
They might as well be written into my genetic code.
I’ve heard there are two things you need to make a relationship work, timing and chemistry. We can’t blame this one on timing, because I gave you years that went to waste. How many times have promises of forever escaped my lips, while you couldn’t even commit to tomorrow? And chemistry? Did you forget that there was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other? Your coded texts mixed with, “I miss you” and, “I love you” between drawn out messages and secret meeting places. So tell me, what was the thing missing to make this relationship work?
Nothing’s change, except time. I still feel the same, but every time I try to bridge the distance between us, I get shoved back with both hands. And how many times can one person justify standing an arm’s length away, hoping for things to be different, to be better? When history creates habits hard to break, it’s difficult to look passed all the bad. Things may never have been the way I wanted them to be, but not for one moment do I second guess this. I’d take the bad all over again if it meant sense could be made out of this mess we created.
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She told the truth so freely, as if it was flowing out of her like a coursing river. The kind that has the power to create a new path if it has to and there was no stopping it. She never held back a thing from me. Every word out of her was causing me to sink deeper. In the end I fell in love with her her truths.
It made me spoiled, because through all this we were keeping a huge secret from everyone in our lives. In the absence of eyes, our truths came out out when we were together between entangled sheets. I grew to resent the lying, with the truth craving to come spilling out of me like an overflowing bucket.
In the end it was the truths that caused us to come crashing down. We were one truth she couldn’t stand to face. It was the sin she could no longer carry. And when our lies could no longer bear the weight of the coursing river, the truths broke down the dam that send us to an ending neither of us had predicted among the passion.