You deserve more than whiskey fueled dreams and clumsy kisses. More than someone who can’t make up her mind. You deserve cotton candy filled skies and moonlit nights. You deserve promises made with a tongue grazing your lips. You deserve wedding bells and diamond rings. You deserve a life filled with laughter and happiness. You deserve more than I can give you.
You were sad and after failing to keep the promises to yourself, you found yourself soaking in intoxicants. Decisions were easy in this state; you were driven by simple needs and desire. There was no question of whether or not you should do this; you were going to do it regardless. Despite the desire to constantly be in control, you give in. You find yourself at her door, for the first time in years. It was as if nothing had changed and you were reliving a time when this was all you wanted.
I found that vodka would never be more intoxicating, than when stolen from your lips. But you are the worst poison for me, infecting organ systems with just one kiss. It was the fuel that started the wars because it seemed like I lost myself on this fragile line of feeling pain and causing it. These words became wars fought between lovers, who mistaken this life for a combat zone. Incessantly, firing rounds at each other. Narrowly, missing vital organs by inches. Did you really believe all was fair in love when you brought an arsenal to our first first date and placed grenades, instead of your hand in mine? I never wanted us to be at constant war, but more often than not our voices were raised against each other and we found that love was a battle that we could not win.